Never nooit meer

En dan kom jij ineen voorbij

En keert mijn wereld onderste boven ....

That is one of the songs by my favorite Dutch R&B group, Re-play. In 2001, mas D’s cousin, Siska, came to Indonesia for a holiday. She gave a CD with Dutch songs. I thought it was one of those typical Dutch songs, but I listened to the songs, it was not Dutch at all. I mean the language was Dutch but the style was like an American music. I fell in love with these four guys, Alwin Burke, Henk Waarde, Mario Raadwijk and Sam de Wit. Their music suits the ears of my Indonesian students who learn Dutch at Erasmus Language Center. So, every time they release a new album I try to get their CD first.

On the occasion of the 40th Anniversary of Erasmus Huis, Re-play – on my request – was invited to give concerts in Jakarta, Semarang, Yogyakarta (which was cancelled due to the volcano eruption of Mount Merapi) and Surabaya. And my boss, Paul Peters, was so kind to let me pick up these awesome guys at the airport and taking them to Manhattan Hotel.

I couldn’t sleep because of thinking meeting these guys. I woke up early and went with my colleagues, Toni and Tumiyo, to the airport. When we arrived at the airport, my heart started to beat fast because I was really nervous. It beat even faster when I heard the announcement that their flight had arrived. When I saw four guys stepping outside the arrival hall I yelled at them: RE-PLAY. Sam said: Hi Reena. What? I couldn’t believe my ears. He knew my name?!!!! Alwin, Henk, Mario and Sam are all awesome and nice with a great sense of humor. Another good thing was that I could give them the presents from Erasmus after the concert.

Sulinah, Yu Sul, the woman with bitter laughter

Dear Yu* Sul,

My heart broke into pieces this morning, when I learned of the sudden, unexpected death of your dear husband, Mas Mihad and I can't imagine the depth of your sorrow. 

You are just an ordinary Javanese woman with soft dark skin, beautiful long black hair, small sad eyes and when you talk, we can barely hear your soft voice. If we look into your eyes, we would see the sadness and the grief that you have to bear, which you try to disguise with bitter laughter.

You were just a teenager when you came into my life. You helped mom in doing the house hold things and lots of other things. You took care of me and my brother and sisters. You even went along with us in the trips abroad. To me and my siblings, you are like an older sister. You helped me with my homework, even in foreign language. You helped me making two cute ponytails with red ribbons and most all you learned mom’s cooking.

Then, you met the man of your life. You got married and moved to Purwokerto, where you brought a beautiful baby boy to this world. Time flies and your baby boy became a healthy, strong young man who found a good job abroad. You and Mas Mihad were very proud of him. Yu Sul, you were blessed with a great life. At that time you actually didn’t have to work at all, but you wanted to take care of my sister’s babies. You took care of baby one, baby two and three, and baby four. Meanwhile, your son bought a house for his beloved mother and father.

One day we got a shocking news. Your son died in an accident when he was driving his motorcycle with a girl. He was about to get married with this girl. I just couldn’t imagine how you might have felt loosing your only son. I admired you because you were able to accept your faith and you tried to move on. We saw that you and your husband found happiness in taking care of my sister’s babies, but then again we can see the bitter laughter in your eyes.

Today, once again we heard a shocking news. Your husband died from electrocution when he was cutting tree branches in front of your house. The first person who you tried to contact with was of course my sister. I was deeply sadden with this news. Again you have to cope with the loss of your loved one and this time your husband. I really just don’t know whether you will be able to deal with this. Will you be able to stay strong? Will you be able like most of Javanese women to accept your faith again? Will you be able to find happiness in taking care of my sister’s babies?

Although words seem futile now in the midst of your sorrow, they are all I have to give you. Please accept these written words as warm hugs to wrap yourself in, and know that I am holding you in my heart at this sad and difficult time. We may not be blood related, but somehow you have been and will always be part of our family.

Jakarta, 24 January 2012

Yu is a Javanese word for sister