Dear Yu* Sul,
My heart broke into pieces this morning, when I learned of
the sudden, unexpected death of your dear husband, Mas Mihad and I can't
imagine the depth of your sorrow.
You are just an ordinary Javanese woman with soft dark skin,
beautiful long black hair, small sad eyes and when you talk, we can barely hear
your soft voice. If we look into your eyes, we would see the sadness and the
grief that you have to bear, which you try to disguise with bitter laughter.
You were just a teenager when you came into my life. You
helped mom in doing the house hold things and lots of other things. You took
care of me and my brother and sisters. You even went along with us in the trips
abroad. To me and my siblings, you are like an older sister. You helped me with
my homework, even in foreign language. You helped me making two cute ponytails
with red ribbons and most all you learned mom’s cooking.
Then, you met the man of your life. You got married and
moved to Purwokerto, where you brought a beautiful baby boy to this world. Time
flies and your baby boy became a healthy, strong young man who found a good job
abroad. You and Mas Mihad were very proud of him. Yu Sul, you were blessed with
a great life. At that time you actually didn’t have to work at all, but you
wanted to take care of my sister’s babies. You took care of baby one, baby two
and three, and baby four. Meanwhile, your son bought a house for his beloved
mother and father.
One day we got a shocking news. Your son died in an accident
when he was driving his motorcycle with a girl. He was about to get married
with this girl. I just couldn’t imagine how you might have felt loosing your
only son. I admired you because you were able to accept your faith and you
tried to move on. We saw that you and your husband found happiness in taking
care of my sister’s babies, but then again we can see the bitter laughter in
your eyes.
Today, once again we heard a shocking news. Your husband
died from electrocution when he was cutting tree branches in front of your
house. The first person who you tried to contact with was of course my sister.
I was deeply sadden with this news. Again you have to cope with the loss of
your loved one and this time your husband. I really just don’t know whether you
will be able to deal with this. Will you be able to stay strong? Will you be
able like most of Javanese women to accept your faith again? Will you be able
to find happiness in taking care of my sister’s babies?
Although words seem futile now in the midst of your sorrow,
they are all I have to give you. Please accept these written words as warm hugs
to wrap yourself in, and know that I am holding you in my heart at this sad and
difficult time. We may not be blood related, but somehow you have been and
will always be part of our family.
Yu is a Javanese word for sister
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